Banned from zoo.
Again?
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
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