Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
so let's talk penis.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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