my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
