We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
