YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
