even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Randomize
