Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
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with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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