she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
