I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
And then my night got REAL pukey
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I supernannyed him into submission
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
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