Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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