i don't like sucking hair
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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