My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
This house was built for laser tag.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
