What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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