Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
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You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
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This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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