tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I think my fart just growled at me.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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