I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Don't make out with my wife yet
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize