So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
