people are starting to question the shark bite story
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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