Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.