i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
