I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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