Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Randomize
