It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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