the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
