I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
