we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
