I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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