oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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