I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
