There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
so much tequila, so little girl.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
