Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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