im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize