he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
