I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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