It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
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Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
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I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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