I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Randomize
