Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Randomize
