So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
