If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
