she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
