How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
