I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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