btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I can tuck mytits in my pants
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
