yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
