does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
We need to rekindle our bromance
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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