apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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