so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize
