Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
