Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Randomize