just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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