I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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