Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
You have to summon your inner elephant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
i think i just lost a toe
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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