even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
