All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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