i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize