Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
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some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
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If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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