If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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