its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
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Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
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They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
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